Dear EA
Today my heart is heavy. While I realized that it could happen I hoped that it never would, things with us have changed. Your calls which started off as plentiful, sweet and full of love are now few, far between and cool. That loving, encouraging, funny EA of old is gone and I am mourning that loss. My heart is heavy. However, God is the ultimate healer of broken hearts. I cast all my cares on him for he cares for me.
You met me at a time when I was emotionally spent and you loved me. You loved me when I needed it the most and had nothing to give in return. I believe that now you are emotionally spent and have nothing left to give. I will not take your “abandonment” personally. I do however want to be there for you like how you were there for me. I imagine that what you need most right now is a good friend who will love you, support you, and encourage you unconditionally without any expectations. I want to be that friend to you. I really do. I just need to get over myself. As the Bible puts it “kill my flesh”
I pray to God to help me love you with his love which is perfect not with my love which is moody, fickle and often conditional. I feel like I have had this test before and failed it…God’s giving me another chance.
I am inspired by the men in my life who have loved me even when the love was unreturned. The Mario’s, Ron’s, Tyrone’s, and Turner’s of my life. Even when all hope was gone for an us, even when it took me months to return a phone call or e-mail they loved me. They taught me about the meaning of love. For that I will be forever grateful.
True love requires sacrifice. I desire to sacrifice myself for you. And if I get nothing from you in return I will still be grateful because you will have taught me how to love.
The joy of the Lord is my strength.
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