quote of the day: wholeness

Matthew 9:22
"...Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole...."

Reappearing Acts: Do men have man-radars?

Rewind about 5 months back. I meet this guy online. I will call him Jason Kid (JK). He tells me that he only reason why he joined match.com just to write to me. He sends this super long e-mail that seemed so sincere. He seemed like the truth. He was 6’2”, cute to boot (a Jason Kid look alike), successful entrepreneur, smart, active in his church, never married, no kids, parents married for almost half a century, volunteers on the board of several not for profits, yada yada yada… I was so excited, being the eternal optimist, it seemed like he had so much potential. Then…nothing. Alas, actions speak louder than words.

Within five minutes of talking to a guy I can get a feel for if he is sincere or if he is trying to run game. Game recognize game. After a few conversations on the phone I was able to ascertain that he was someone that did not want to be taken seriously. After that we would talk every once in a while. I was soon “over” him and stopped returning his calls all together. It has been a few months since I last talked to him.

So yesterday JK sends me a text message wishing me a happy birthday. That is really sweet and all…except my birthday was SEPTEMBER 28 not November 28…sigh. I guess it is the thought that counts? He calls me today and I decided to take his call. He basically tells me that he wants to put the past aside and that he really wants to get to know me better. Say bruh, you are a day late and a dollar short. What the heck happened to you? Did you just wake up with Tee on the brain? Did your radar go off that another man might be lurking on the horizon? Couldn’t you just stay in the (figurative or literal) hole where you have been hiding all these months? Sigh.

Another blast from the past called yesterday. Swedish cowboy, evidently his silence was due to the unexpected passing of his grandmother. He just came back from Sweden… I can’t be mad at that.

Can someone explain why guys pull that disappearing, re-appearing act? It is quite tired already.

T’is the season: I think I officially hate Christmas

I am slowly approaching a point where I hate Christmas. Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that the Lord loved us enough to sacrifice his only begotten son so that my sinning behind could have life. I love that and am thankful to God everyday. We all know that the Christmas season has almost nothing to do with Jesus. That being said, I am getting to hate Christmas.

I think what I hate most about it is that it is touted as the happiest time of the year. It’s not. I don’t have the energy to look up statistics but I would be willing to bet that more people commit suicide than any other time of the year.

Last Christmas I had to work. As if that didn’t suck enough my loving, doting boyfriend who was visiting from out of town shows up at my job and starts acting a STRAIGHT UP FOOL in the middle of the hospital lobby. Now it would be one thing if I was working at the security desk and had time to entertain such nonsense at work but when you are desperately trying to keep somebody’s grandmamma alive, you really don’t have time for messiness. Thinking about it right now makes me SO MAD! If I could have killed him I would have. Sometimes I still think about killing him for bringing that garbage to my place of employment. Mmmm. Needless to say that pretty much spoiled my Christmas. He did give me a really good present that in no way made up for the debacle he created but it made for a great parting gift!

Let’s fast forward a year. I have no job so I don’t have to work. The drama boyfriend is now an ex. Life should be great or at least drama free. Right? Well it turns out that some very resourceful person decided to create a duplicate copy of my Visa and use it to purchase thousands of dollars of presents for all of their loved ones. How sweet! Thank goodness that Bank of America’s fraud department took notice. Just yesterday I was writing about the goodness of people—I take that back. People and babies are e-v-u-u-l!

Call me a scrooge but I personally don’t see the joy in Christmas:
-It is cold
-The stores are too crowded
-People are ruder than any other time of the year
-I miss my family
-It is a lonely time

If someone could please knock me out and wake me up on 1/1/2008. Pity party aside, one thing that always makes me feel better is being around people worse off than myself (there are so many). I will probably end up volunteering somewhere.

So what does this all mean for you?
If you can think of reasons why I should love Christmas time please do share.
As you are singing carols by the fireside with your families realize that this time of year can be a hard time for some and make an attempt to reach out to someone who doesn’t have a family or is much less fortunate than you. What would it be like if your Christmas was actually about giving (and not gift exchange/over eating)?

* I just thought about something I like about Christmas. It is the only time of the year I can get Silk-nog (vegan eggnog-oxymoron…anyway) at the grocery store! It is not much but I am trying to be positive….

Misery loves company. Would anyone like to share any Christmas time horror stories?

Personal delivery from Mr J.

Isn't that sweet? I love love love flowers! Note we have moved from yellow (friendship) to red (passion)...

The man that cannot exist: Acknowledging the root of my need for attention.

Ladies, correct me if I am wrong but I think we all want the same man: good looking, ily man who will make a great father. Give or take a few things and that probably looks something like your dream guy, right? As I get older I realize that some of the things I wanted are not necessarily compatible with each other. For instance, what are the chances that someone who is really fine and really charming (read player) and has becoming accustomed to charming ladies his whole life will actually be loyal to me for the rest of his life? Loyal player is an oxymoron. I am not saying it can’t happen but chances are… The truth is that I might be better off with the slightly nerdy guy who isn’t as smooth but whose heart is a lot more sincere…

Recently I have had to confront the oxymoron of the successful doting man. I dated this guy who was successful in his own right. He owned a financial services company and he was building his gigantic dream house in Connecticut from the ground up. Anyone who has every built a house from the ground up knows that this takes a lot of time and energy. He is a super sweet guy. I miss him much. If there are any single ladies in the tri-state area he is a great catch for the right girl…I digress. This guy is a hard worker. I mean a really hard worker. On most days he would work until midnight, often pulling all-nighters. Despite his crazy schedule he would call me everyday before going to bed. On weekends he would drive two hours to take me on a date then drive two hours back home.

I am used to being with guys who were a lot more accessible. My ex would call me several times a day. Granted, the relationship was a bit codependent. Dating the guy in CT made me realize that one of the prices of dating an ultra-driven guy was that he would not be sitting under me 24 hours of the day. In order to be with such a guy I would have to be understanding of his time constraints.

“My first mistake was I wanted too much time. I had to have him morning noon and night”

Creoledc wrote a blog about a friend that was putting unreasonable demands for time and attention on a busy man that she was dating. The piece hit home for me. I then started wondering where this strong need for attention came from. Why was it so important for me to be with someone who showered me with attention?

My friend TJ hit it on the nail when he said, “fathers dote on their children, not boyfriends.” When you look up the definition of doting in the Webster dictionary it actually gives the example of a doting grandparent doting on her grandchild. That is when it occurred to me that my need for attention stems from my desire to have the attention that I never got from my father. I am in essence asking every man I meet to pay for the sins of my father and frankly that is not fair.

Recently God revealed to me that one of the reasons for my underlying anger towards men was because of unresolved hurts from my dad. I had a mini therapy exercise; I was prayed for and delivered. As time goes on God continues to reveal things about how my childhood has affected my current relationships. He is healing me one layer at a time, slowly putting back all the pieces. One day I will be whole. The reality is that this is a journey, not a destination. Each day that goes by I get better, wiser, stronger. Until I reach the final mark, I press on….

Thankful for: random acts of kindness

Reading a post on "Days Like These" reminded me of a recent act of kindness. When I was at the airport sniffling away, feeling generally miserable, I started coughing. Sick and alone is the worst way to be. The lady I was sitting next to me, without saying a word, handed me a Ricola cough drop. Despite the fact that I had a a whole bag of Ricola cough drops in my bag, this one act of kindness made me feel so much better about the world. It really touched me. Maybe there is hope for us. Maybe all adults aren't really evil (just babies).

The quote, "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers" rings so true to me. There have been countless times that I can think of when I was helped by strangers in both minor and major ways. I can think of days when I was feeling pretty miserable when a kind, warm, smile from someone passing by made me feel better.

My general philosophy is that if there is something that I can do that will not cost me much but will brighten someone else's day then by all means do it.

When was the last time you:

-Smiled at a stranger (we don't do that up north)

-Gave someone a compliment

-Sent a friend a 99c card just to let them know you were thinking about them

-Gave an unexpected present

-Offered someone a ride

-Gave a 99c candy to a friend

-Gave a cough drop to someone coughing

-Asked someone how they were and really listened to their answer

-Did something for someone with nothing to gain from it

Expectations

I shadowed this brilliant ophthalmologist (eye surgeon) at the Mayo clinic once. We went to see a patient who he had just operated on. The dialogue went something like this:

Dr G: How are you feeling?
Patient: My eyes hurt
Dr G: You are welcome
Patient: (this time a little louder, as though he didn’t hear the first time) My eyes HURT.
Dr G: You are welcome. We will check on you in a few hours.

Aruuuu?! Not quite the interaction I had expected. Dr G then turns to me and explains the importance of setting expectations in life. He explained to me that after having major surgery a little pain should be expected. He told me that in any type of relationship in life it is always important to clearly set expectations. While his methods may have been a bit unorthodox, the lesson he taught me was learned for life.

Recently in the blog circles that I frequent there has been a very lively debate about the role of lists and stated expectations in relationships. It was started by a list of about twenty six things that creoledc wrote that gentleman should do, Lord Hannibal took issue with the idea of the list and the debate ensued. It is actually quite entertaining if you have a few minutes.

To add my two cents to the debate, I feel as though we all have a list of expectations for the opposite sex albeit stated or unstated. The problem comes when we are with someone who has a different set of expectations and neither person has bothered to communicate these expectations because after all the other person should “just know.” Recently Mr. J asked me what my expectations were in a relationship. I told him I needed to think about it. After some thought this is the list that I came up with. It is largely based on biblical principals. I haven’t shared them with him yet. I thought I would run it by my internet friends first.

(In order to be in a successful relationship) I expect:
1. For God to be at the center of our relationship
2. Honesty
3. Respect
4. Trust
5. You to be a gentleman
6. A dogged commitment to making our relationship work
7. Integrity
8. Consistency
9. Flexibility
10. You to be a man of your word
11. You to act in ways that are kind, considerate and loving towards me
12. For us to find loving ways of resolving conflict, with the goal of pursuing peace. This includes apologizing when necessary, sometimes even when unnecessary and not holding grudges.
13. You to try to understand things from my perspective and be patient with me
14. Open and effective communication
15. Support and encouragement
16. To have fun
17. Accessibility and regular communication
18. To see you at least every other month (he lives in Florida)
19. To be near and dear to your heart (closeness)
20. You to be protective and to take good care of my heart
21. To be cherished

Naturally, I expect the same things of myself (except the part about being a gentleman or man—LOL).

What say ye? Anything missing? Anything unreasonable?

I am thankful for: Friends that Rock!

I love getting gifts especially unexpected gifts. I was delighted to find out that my friend S had an unexpected present for me. I love surprises!

S had gotten me a copy of the book, The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy. This book was a New York Times Bestseller and it won the Booker prize, the British version of the Pulitzer prize. More importantly this book is set in Kerala India, the part of India I will be visiting in January. Reading it I am getting a feeling for the sights, sounds and smells of the area. I am so excited about my trip!!!

I almost went to Brazil instead but Brazil will always be there and India is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Regardless, any option that involves being on a warm beach in January (Kerala is on the coast) as opposed to friggin cold Boston, is A-ok with me! And I love love love Indian food! Food friends and fun, that is what I am talking about!

For the record during this time of thanksgiving, let me say that I am truly grateful for all of the fabulous friends both old and new that God has blessed me with. I am so blessed!
What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

I heart New Orleans

Tuesday, November 20, 2007 ***

***Please note that my blog is not necesarily in chronological order. As a matter of fact there is no logic in the order in which I post blogs.

What is there not to like about New Orleans? As Babs in Blogland would say “how can you hate on it?” The first pleasant surprise was the weather. After leaving ice friggin cold Boston I expect NO to be just slightly chilly. Well I guess I should have checked weather.com because it was HOT. Like high seventies and sunny. I seriously considered pitching a tent by the river and not coming back to Boston until the spring…if only.
The second surprise was my hotel. I stayed at the Loews, steps away from the conference and across the street from the W hotel. I really wanted to stay at the W but it was $100 more per night. I am glad I didn’t. Loews hotels have this free membership program, if you sign up you get: early/late check in/ check out privileges; your choice of a healthy snack or wine or a local treat upon your arrival; free room upgrades when available. This is perfect for those with champagne taste and a beer budget! It is great!!! They let me check in at 10am (check in is usually 4pm) and they upgraded me to the grand luxury suite! One of the housekeepers gave me a pretty iris to put in my room (you know how I love flowers) and they brought my complimentary fruit basket with a bottle of water. How fabulous was that. Soon after I got in I took a long bubble bath in the marble tiled bathroom and then I was ready to hit the city.
So I had good weather, good accommodations, the only thing left was some good food! If I didn’t learn anything else from creoledc, one thing I learned is that those folks from Lousiana don’t play around when it comes to food. I didn’t have to look far to find good food. The restaturant in the hotel had some of the best shrimp and grits that I have had in a long time. I started off with this super yummy fried green tomato plus two other kinds of tomato with crab appetizer…sooo good! The best part about the restaurant was their drink specials…25c martinis. That is not a typo, TWENTY FIVE CENT MARTINIS (limit three—but who the heck needs more than three martinis?!). I was as though I had died and went to food heaven. Yumm.
The people had that southern hospitality that I miss so much living in bean town. After I finally get a job I will have to plan a trip back for the jazz festival or the essence music festival. I heart New Orleans.
The saddest part about being in the French Quarter is that as a tourist you are totally sheltered from the remaining devastation still very evident in the rest of the city. I hope that the city will be rebuilt soon and that the citizens of New Orleans will be able to return to their homes.

quote of the day: famous

As I am sitting on the enterprise shuttle, no make up, snot dripping, generally looking a hot mess this 13 year old boy says to me,

"You look famous."


Huh?!! What that meant I wasn't quite sure. I also didn't know how to reply. So I said, "I will take that as a compliment." His mom responded, "I am sure he meant it as one" so I said, "thank you".

So guess what y'all? I look famous (to 13 year old white boys at least).
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Babies are E-V-U-U-L!

I am now convinced that babies are a genius evolutionary mechanism of spreading germs, in other words, totally evil! I hate them all! I mean could bacteria have possibly found a better vector of transmitting disease than a seemingly innocent, cute, friendly baby? It is pure brilliance I tell you.

Please don't be fooled as I was. They are all evil. "Where is this coming from?" you ask. Well it all started when I was on the plane last week (not jet blue unfortunately). I sat next to this lady and her picture perfect family. Her husband, 5 year old and 3 year old were sitting on the other side of the isle. The lady and her most adorable 1 year old daughter were sitting next to me. Now her daughter was just the picture of total cuteness, kissable chubby cheeks, big blue eyes and a smile that never quit. She was obviously one of those happy babies. You know the kind that laughs anytime anyone says something, super friendly. I should have paid more attention to the little snot clots in her nose...1 st clue. The second clue I ignored was that her mom sounded just a little bit congested...humph.

After sitting next to mom and baby for a while I couldn't resist. I asked her if I could hold the baby. I used purell on my hands as not to infect the baby. I was worried about infecting the baby, wasn't thinking about the baby infecting me...sigh. I am never around children so getting the opportunity to play with a little was a lot of fun...or so I thought.

Fast forward, by the next day I started feeling a little under the weather...and I knew it was that darn baby. I tried to ward off the cold with extra doses of vitamin C and Airborne. That kept the cold at bay for a little while until a couple of days ago when my nose turned into a faucet, my head started spinning and I started vascillating between extreme hot and extreme cold and generally felt like two day old crap. Colds suck and babies are evil.

Anyone have any home grown remedies for the common cold? Castor oil? Shark liver oil? Let a sister know.

quote of the day: nkosi johnson

"Do all you can
with what you have
in the time you have
in the place you are."

-Nkosi Johnson-age 12

To read about this boy's very short yet very powerful life:
The Face of AIDS:
http://www.simplytaty.com/bios/nkosi.htm

He truly embodied this quote. Reading his story brought tears to my eyes. May he rest in peace.

Late night utterings: A slip of the tongue

So a few nights ago I was talking to Mr J on the phone. He told me he was going to call me back later. He didn't (big pet peeve). The next morning I wake up and see that I have a missed call at 1:10 am. I also have a voicemail from a very groggy, half asleep Mr J:

"Hey Dr Tee, what's up baby...it's me..oh God...it's 1:15...I forgot...I was beat... and I just woke up and realized that I did not call you before I went to bed. I apologize for not calling you back but I came in the house and said I was going to laid down for a minute in the and next thing you know it's 1:15. If you are still up give me a call otherwise I will talk to you in the morning...text message me...love you...oooh lady tee...slip of the tongue ( laughter)...call me when you can alright."

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! LOL!

I have not said a word to him about it. I just pretend like in never happened.

Care to comment?

Lonely: Jesus as the back up friend

It's getting cold in Boston, like 30 degrees cold and it is not even winter yet! It is the holiday season and my hormones are wreaking havoc on my mood. I am lonely. For those of us who are far away from family or have lost family members who were near and dear to our hearts the holidays can be pretty rough. In addition, I am going through a bit of friend withdrawal.

Back in my junior year of college one of my closest best friends, who was also one of my suitemates, got a serious boyfriend. Whereas at one time she was always available to me she was now in love and spending lots of time with her new man, as was to be expected. She was gone so much that my other suitemates and I joked about putting a "room for rent" sign on her bedroom door! Not having her there was really hard for me. I missed her a lot. I missed our friendship.

As the years go by I find that I am "losing" more and more of my friends to this epidemic called marriage and serious relationships. The girls who were always good for going out, for drinks, coffee, or that midnight boo hoo call because Mr X did me wrong or because I missed my mom or just because…aren't there anymore. They are attending to their families as they should be. I just miss them a lot.

One of the things that made being single a lot easier was having "play boyfriends." These were guys who I was not romantically involved with but we were good friends and they were always good for a little flirting when necessary. Now they are gone too:
Frank- married to a crazy girl
Keith-married
TJ- married to his job!
Doug-married to a fabulous wife with a cute new baby!
Derek-not married but certainly involved in a hot mess.
Meka-married to residency and his live-in girlfriend
I am going to take a moment of silence for them.
((silence))
((more silence))
Moving on. I almost feel like that the only way to have a friend who will be committed to me is to get married myself but of course it is not that simple. I can't just make a fabulous husband magically appear. So what do I do in the meantime? Who do I go to when there is no one else to turn to and I am feeling lonely? This one's easy…you call on the Lord. But dang, is there anything more cliché than the single woman trying to "work on her relationship" with God cause she ain't got no man? I am soooooo tired of being that cliché!

I feel like I treat God like that friend who I don't really like but when push comes to shove and there is absolutely noooooooo one else to turn to, that's when I call the back up friend. After all he did say "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Or "lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world." I mean that is pretty deep. That is more of a promise than any of my other friends can make. God is not supposed to be a back up friend. He is a good friend to me but I treat Him like a red-headed stepchild. (Where did that phrase come from anyway? I digress)

Back in the day we used to sing the hymn, "What a friend we have in Jesus." I have to say that God has been many things to me, my lord, my protector, my provider, the lover of my soul…but never a friend or at least not a good one. It is time for that to change. The bible says that "my God shall supply ALL [my] needs according to his riches and glory." That includes my need for companionship. I never thought of God as my hanging buddy before or the "person" who I can share chit chat and mundane details of my life with. It's time for a change. It is my desire to make God my number one friend. I want him to be the first person that I tell my great news to or share my heartache with. I want Him to be first on my list. It's about time I start recognizing the type of friend he has been to me.

Are you good friends with God? Really good friends?

I heart Jet Blue

"...they had me at free wi-fi." LOL!
It has been a crazy crazy week! I have been to four different states, been towed and almost a casualty of road rage. I have lots of stories to tell so stay tuned.

First I wanted to talk about my very first jet blue experience. I was flying from JFK to New Orleans. I have to say that I was pretty impressed by the budget carrier. First thing when I got to the terminal in JFK they had this large area where about twenty or more people could plug in their laptops AND they had free wireless internet access. How cool is that?! In most airports I have been to you have to scope out the two or three outlets and find a way to position yourself near one of them.

The computer area/bench also can double up as a flat sleeping area, which comes in handy at 4:30am (as evidenced by one of my fellow travelers who was all curled up on the computer bench- ha ha).
The inside of the plane was also a good experience. The flight attendents and pilots were all very nice. They advertise the "most leg room in coach." While leg room has never been a major issue for me at 5'6", I was definitely able to notice having more space. They actually had a fun variety of snacks from healthy to yummy. My favorite part was that I got to watch CABLE TV!!!!!!

They have direct TV on board. Now I love cable TV but refuse to pay for it. It would only help feed my procratination habit. Besides I could get two mani/pedicures for the cost of one month's cable bill. These are the choices I have to make to be a "baller on a budget." Anyway I had so much fun catchy up on some of my guilty cable pleasures like "housewives of orange county"--I guess Jo is gone for good and "nip tuck"-is it just me or has that show become more like soft porn? I didn't get to watch the latest episode of "moniques's charm school" but I did watch "Run's house" when he took his daughter to get a TATOO-father daughter bonding sure has changed these days! What ever happened to a good old, "Hell naw" or "Over my dead body"? My dad would have probably said something along those lines...

For the record, if you tell anyone that I admitted to watching any of those shows I will deny it with a passion...and have you maimed...I am just saying.

Anyway, overall I had a very pleasureable flying experience. Most importantly I made it there and back safe and sound. Not only that we arrived 30 minutes BEFORE scheduled arrival! I have found a new favorite low budget carrier. I heart Jet Blue.

Beer budget champagne taste: Spa-less in the city

What girl doesn’t love a day at the spa? I visited a girlfriend in NYC this weekend and as we all know NYC spas can be pricey. A massage at the Mandarin Oriental spa can cost upwards of $300…not an option for those of us on a beer budget. So what is a girl to do?

Not all is lost, you can still get primped and polished if you get a bit creative. We started off with at home facial treatments, mud masks, exfoliating treatments, soothing music and a nice cup of tea (or in our case Australian shiraz) did the trick. Next we went for manicure/pedicures. I vetoed the first place she chose because they were charging $42 (which is not bad compared to usual spa prices but I knew we could do better). We ended up going to this Vietnamese salon that had a $25 special. They did an excellent job. They were also having a waxing special for 20% off so I had my legs and eyebrows waxed for $13 and $9 respectively. As I waited for my nails to dry I opted for the 10 minute, $10 chair massage which was sooo good (much better than my massage school experience…). I love love love good massages! After wards we stopped at an organic vegan restaurant. I had chick pea curry with brown rice ($6)—perfect for a cold day in NYC and a freshly juiced wheat grass, pineapple, lemongrass, strawberry juice ($5)—yummy. Overall, our total wellness, beauty and relaxation day cost less than $60!

* I will post a picture of me in my mask when I get home. Hee hee.

The truth at 4:29am: The blogs I can never write

For the last 4 days I have woken up between 3:30 and 4:30 am. Now anytime you are up during those hours there are only two possibilities: 1) You are a surgery resident or have some other horrible job that requires that you be up at such an ungodly hour; 2) There is a story to tell. Since y’all know I ain’t got no job, it’s got to be the latter…

Yes, there have been some stories: some perfectly innocent and some perfectly titillating; stories of an older woman with a young man…and her friend; stories of passion and purity; stories involving planes, trains, buses and the like; stories that would make a really good blog entries but I can’t write any of them. Although we all like to hide behind the veil of anonymity that is the internet we all know that it’s not fool proof and even when you change names to protect the innocent, people can still put two and two together… I guess there are some stories that you just take to your grave. That is how you keep a secret. I guess it is sufficient to say that I have had a fun weekend, involving three different states, I am on to my fourth as I write this. I did not break the law or any of my moral codes but I did have fun…and that is all that I will say.

quote of the day: rain

"it does not rain on one house alone"
-Cameroonian proverb

The Swedish Cowboy

October 27 2007:

Who knew they had black cowboys in Sweden?! And fuuuu-wiiiiiine ones too! On Saturday night we went to this costume party that was on a cruise ship. I went as a movie star/diva. I had the big sunglasses, boa and all. I forgot my camera so I have to wait for my girl K to e-mail me the pictures. We had so much fun on Saturday except I learned the lesson that I am not as young as I used to be and I can't hang how I used to hang... My body just can't handle staying up into the wee hours of the morning anymore. This movie star needs her beauty sleep!
Towards the end of the night I started dancing with this deliciously fine young chocolate brother. He was the kind of fine that you want to write someone and tell them about it! Mmmmmm mmmm mmmm. Turns out he was from Sweden and he had the cutest swedish accent. Who knew they had black people in Sweden?! He was a student at the Harvard Business school working on his MBA AND his PhD in economics. Looks and brains I tell you! He is one person I sure wouldn't mind having as a study partner. As a matter of fact if all the brothers in Sweden look like him, I am going to buy me some down parkas and I am moving to Sweden! LOL!
Anyone else have any hottie sightings lately?

The afterparty: Swedish sadness

"After the party is the after party..."

One thing that can be said with certainty is that Harvard business school boys like to party! Swedish cowboy (I will do a post on him next) now keeps me abreast of all the business school partying and debauchery. Twice a year they have this party called Brown Sugar sponsored by the Black and Indian student associations. At midnight, after the housewarming party, I called one of my partners in crime, Raquel* who is always down for having fun. We got to the party at about 12:30am. Clubs in Boston close at 2am so there was no way we were paying the $20 cover charge. We came prepared to hustle.

Unfortunately the female bouncer at the door, we will call her Helga, was impenetrable. Evidently my charms don't work on the same sex. However, after spending a good 15 minutes trying to squeeze into a parallel parking spot, I was determined to get in this party. So we left Helga alone and worked our magic on Antonio, the other bouncer. Sometimes persistence pays off.

One of the reasons why I wanted to go to the party was because I wanted to go and drool over the Swedish cowboy. Did I mention that he is fine and a great dancer?! Evidently, I was not the only female who had that in mind....

I never really realized how hard it is to locate someone in a dimly lit crowded club. However, I was on a Swedish mission and I was not to be deterred. Eventually I found him. Unfortunately he also had some chick who was all over him. I waited for her to take a bathroom break or come up for air or something..didn't happen. So at the end of the night I went up to say hi to him (and her). I was very polite and all smiles. He looked rather uncomfortable and he called me "the dangerous public health girl" (not quite sure what that means). My girl Raquel said the whole situation looked pretty awkward. LOL! I thought it was funny. I guess ole boy didn't read p.79 of the players playbook--"How to act when you are with one female but then run into another." Sigh.

Let's take a moment of silence to observe the loss of another fine black man.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Housewarming Party: Part B

Last night I had part B of my housewarming party. It was a totally different group of people. We had the representatives of Botswana, Australia, Honduras, Jamaica and USA. Then there was Lydia who has been to all of these places! LOL!

I had soooooooo much fun. There was a lot of good food (besides the food I made). Lydia brought this really good crusty bread with smoked gouda and brie. Lara made this super delicious apple pie that she made from apples she picked with her own hands. We baked the pie at my house, served it with haagen daz vanilla. Hmmm. It's what I will be having for breakfast today! Amy brought a whole pyramid of those really good Ferrero Roche chocolates. The menu was rather...umm...eclectic:

Appetizers:

Bread and cheeses

Fried tofu with cilantro cashew dipping sauce (I had leftover ingredients from Friday)

Salad:

Mix greens with baby greens and romaine.

Entrees:

Because it has been sooo cold I thought it would be the perfect day for some

Turkey chili and cornbread served with jasmine rice

I had more ingredients for thai chicken red curry so we had that too

Dessert:

-More southern comfort cake- always a party pleaser!

-Apple pie with vanilla ice cream

-Chocolate chip cookies

-Chocolate

Drinks:

Wine and make your own cocktail. I made this really good cocktail with mango juice, lychees and passion fruit rum. Mmmm.

I made way too much food! I am always scared that there won't be enough so I over compensate. So everyone got a gladware container full of chili as a parting gift! I was so thankful to Lara and Kele who helped me clean up afterwards. It is so nice to not have to cook and clean up all by myself. Overall a great time was had by all.

Next post: The after party

A victory in finance class!

A-

Yea! I am so excited! I made an A- minus in my financing class which has been kicking my butt all semester long! I worked a lot harder for that A- than I ever did for my A+ in epidemiology. I am going to celebrate!!!!!!

Fitness diaries: Day three

I went running on Sunday! I was so proud of myself! I know it is not much but a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step...
On Monday, I went to my salsa dance class for 1.5 hours.
Today it is raining again. I might, that is a big might, go to the dungeon-like-super-scary-gym at school. We will see.

Where have I been for the last six years?! Goapele

Am I the only one who hasn't heard of this chick? She has been out since 2001 and I have never heard of her! She is sooo good if neo-soul is your thing. She is gorgeous, political and she of Southern African descent-like me (hence the name). Go South Africa! Her CD is only $12 including shipping on her myspace page. If you go to her myspace page page make sure you listen to the song entitled "You"

Have you heard any really good CD's lately?

Every woman should know

I got this from a friend and it is very true.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to fall in love without losing herself...
How she feels about having kids....
How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the relationship...
When to try harder....
And when to walk away....
How to have a good time at a party she'd never choose to attend....
How to ask for what she wants in a way that makes it most likely she'll get it...
That she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents....
That her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over....
What she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
How to live alone...even if she doesn't like it...
Whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally....
Where to go....be it to her best friends kitchen table or a charming inn in the woods, when her soul needs soothing...
What she can and can't accomplish in a day, a month, and a year....

Mr J and I: Taking it to the next level

So this post is not what you think it's about.

I really admire Mr. J for so many reasons. Professionally, he has really taken things to the next level. His stuff is tight! I hope that at minimum we can remain lifetime friends because there is so much that I could learn from him. He and are are in basically the same profession for all practical purposes except that he is a well seasoned professional and I am umm...a broke student.

Mr J is an executive at a very large, well known Fortune 100 (Fortune 50?)company and I am proud to say that he recently won a very prestigious company wide award. Yea Mr J! Go Mr J! The problem is that on the day he is supposed to receive the award he is also scheduled to give a presentation at the American Academy of Ophthalmology conference. I just did a paper (remember that last minute paper) on the same subject that he was going to talk about. He told me that he was frantically looking for someone to replace him at the meeting and things weren't looking to good. So what did I do? I offered to do his presentation for him! I actually really wanted to go to this conference in New Orleans (but alas the beer budget). Doing a talk at the conference would be a really really good resume builder for me and I would have a bazillion networking opportunities and... it's New Orleans for goodness sake!!!!! I am sooooooo excited! It is going to take a lot of paperwork and scrambling to get things done by next Tuesday. I really hope that we can make it happen. Emeril Lagasse here I come! I will keep you updated!

Important question (ie. feedback needed)

What should I do this weekend to help Mr J celebrate his prestigious award?

PG-13 responses only please

Case and point: Can't buy love

So my divorced friend, "Chicago", and I are friends again. The crazy girl's drama forced me to contact him and solicit his help. Now we are friends again. I'll tell you God works in some mysterious ways...! If it wasn't for Crazy Girl we probably would have never spoken again. God bless you crazy girl!LOL!

Mr Chicago and I used to spend hours on the phone talking about life. He went to theology school and is well versed in the bible. We have prayed together, read the bible together and he has helped me to grow in my walk with God in many ways. The funny thing is that we have never met in person.

So Mr Chicago and I talk to each other about our relationships. He is a recent divorcee who is in the process of healing from his 15 year marriage. He finally agrees with me that he needs to take time to himself to heal before getting involved in a serious relationship. He is not emotionally available. However, he recently met this girl, Ms. Desperada, who really likes him. He has told her that he is not ready to be in a serious relationship. Did she listen? No. Bad idea, bad idea.

So this chic has basically been auditioning for the role of wifey pursuing him hard core, I guess trying to make him change his mind about being in a relationship. As far as I am concerned she is out of order. This chick has been showering him with gifts, inviting herself to his house and spending several nights a week there. She has been basically going through all types of commotions to prove to him that she is the perfect girl. It's almost like she is trying to prove that she is worthy of being loved.

Now let me tell you about Mr. Chicago. Mr. Chicago is a romantic at heart, he loves giving women gifts flowers, jewelery, alla dat. He had one chic come visit him and he had this elaborate romantic weekend planned out, greeted her with flowers and was even going to buy her a nice piece of jewelery (except her butt acted stoopid so he didn't buy it). He is the type of guy who LIKES DOING special things for special ladies in his life. Shoot, he even bought me flowers once. Now do you think he has bought ANYTHING for Ms Desperada? NO! He is not pressed and why should he be because she has decided to take on the role of the chaser/hunter/pursuer. She has reversed the order and done a disservice to herself. By chasing him around he is not any more ready to be in a serious relationship than he was before, she is wasting her energy.

Am I saying that women should never do nice things for men? No, of course not. The things that she is doing are the type of things that wives, fiances or serious girlfriends should do. At this point she should allow him to take the lead. What is Lady Tee's second rule of dating? -Don't love anyone who doesn't love you back, ie. don't play yourself.

Now I can totally relate to Ms Desperada's need to make herself seem worthy. I have gone through different stages in the way I relate to men: The first stage in my quasi-feminist days was when I was completely opposed to doing anything that fell into the traditional female role. I refused to cook, clean, iron or do anything like that for a man. I felt that if I knew how to do those things than he should too.

The next stage was more like Ms Desperada. I decided to become the uber super girlfriend. I did all the things that (in my mind) a perfect girlfriend would do. I made the gourmet meals, cleaned apartments, learned acrobatics and said all the right things. I was good no doubt. Darn good. However, my motivation for doing those things was to prove that I was good enough or worthy of love.

Now I am at my favorite stage thus far, the "love me or leave me stage." I have come to realize that being me is enough and that actually I am quite fabulous if I don't say so myself. Any man would be very lucky to have me. That is not to say that I am perfect cause I am soooooooo not perfect but I am pretty darn good. Now, I no longer feel the need to constantly prove myself. I know my worth. I know who I am. Now when I do things it's because I want to and not because I feel I have to. If Mr. (fill in the blank) can't appreciate there is someone out there who will.

Can anyone relate?

Beer budget champagne taste: My new dress

Just because you are broke doesn't mean you have to look busted.
I saw this dress on my friends blog.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2954738/0~2376776~2374327~2374331~6001765~6001769?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6001769&P=1

So this dress is baaaaaaaaaaad with a capital B. The only problem is that it is $248--doesn't really fit in the beer budget category. I started thinking that it would be reeeeeeeeally nice to have a new dress to wear for my date with Mr J on Saturday. So I had three choices: 1) Put this dress on my charge card and go into debt; 2) Wear an old but fabulous outfit; 3) Find an equally fabulous but significantly cheaper dress. Guess what I did folks? You are right! I found an equally fabulous but affordable dress...on ebay!
I love the innernets. You can go shopping at 7am in the morning! Ebay has a lot of new with tags clothing that are significantly less than retail
When buying from e-bay things to make sure of:
1. Know the return policy. If the seller does not accept returns, proceed with caution.
2. Check the sellers review history. If other people have had trouble with this seller, you might too.
3.Buy things from designers and stores you are familiar with so you know what sizes and cuts fit you well.
4.Know your measurements and check with the sellers measurements. All size two's are not created equally.
5. Make sure to read the description for any noted defects
6. Ask. ask ask before you buy!
7. Ask before you buy!
8. Use on of the bid stealer programs. They will help you get almost all of your bids and avoid losing bids due to: forgetting to bid before the item closes and last minute item sniper people
So I have been wanting a long sleeve dress for the winter. I know that wrap around dresses look great on me. Look at the dress from Banana Republic I bought on e-bay this morning for $38-incl shipping (see picture below). It is classic and can be worn during the day or at night. It would be great with a pair of high heeled boots and some fabulous accessories! I am going to look hot!

Sister up!/ Maybe there is something to “The Rules”

Sisters I am mad at you! I am actually angry at Mr J but I can’t help but hold you partially responsible too. Let me just preface this by saying that I am very old fashioned when it comes to dating. I truly believe that back in the day there was a respected order when it came to dating and that order existed for a reason but us modern day, wanna be independent, bad-by myself, I-can-bring-home-the-bacon-and-fry-it-too chicks have fugged it up. Sisters we have fugged up the dating order royally! You can almost not blame the men for not knowing how to act (I said almost).
Now I wish that I could say that what you do in the privacy of your bedroom and relationships is your business and has nothing to do with me, unfortunately that’s not the case. Your willingness to act desperate, tolerate mediocrity, or be treated like anything less than the queen that you are, affects the attitude of the guys you leave behind. Husbands could not cheat if there were not women willing to cheat with them. What disturbs me the most about adultery that is men don’t even have to lie about being married anymore because they know there are women who will tolerate that crap. They don’t even have to lie! What the heck?! We actually might be better off if some women were removed from our society permanently. I have encountered many men in my life, a lot of great ones and a lot of ones full of crap (FOC). I try to minimize my time with the FOC ones, thankfully I have been largely successful. However, for everyman that has approached me with some bull crap nonsense, I know that the reason why he feels that he can get away with it is because there are some SISTERS who will totally go for it. Whether we are talking about the guy with the disrespectful comment about my butt or the one proposing sex before the first date, or the married man who wants to go out, some SISTER is accepting this! Why, why why?! Why can’t we love and respect ourselves enough to choose to only deal with men who love and respect us?
While I know that book “The Rules” creates controversy in any discussion, I think that before we totally dismiss such books we need to take a closer look. I assume that most people have heard about this bestselling, very controversial book that outlines the rules for dating with advice like “never accept a weekend date after Wednesday.” The basic premise of the book is: 1) Have a life (if you don’t have one pretend you do); 2) Don’t act desperate; 3) Don’t play yourself. None of us would argue about the value and importance of these three things. Some people argue that we should not have to “play games” and that you should just “be yourself.” Maybe so, they might have a point there. However, I would argue that if “being you” equates to being desperate, easy and non-self respecting then maybe you need to check yourself before trying to involve yourself with anyone else. Another problem that people have with the book is the absoluteness of the statements of the book. I think the reason why the authors made the rules very strict and absolute is that once people start bending the rules there is no telling how far they would go. We women are very good at rationalizing. Now virtually ALL men hate the idea of “the rules”. If you asked most men they would tell you that they would never ever be with a “Rules girl.” However, if you examine the women who men actually commit to (and treat well), they are not easy, desperate, stupid, and they do have lives that don’t completely revolve around their men. These women might not have obeyed the letter of the “Rules laws” but they certainly had the spirit. I mean, if you really think about it a man that calls you on Friday afternoon for a Friday night date is probably using you as a back up or some sort of after thought and who wants that?! I think there is value in being with a man who really wants to be with you and is not afraid to show it with his actions.
A man who is truly interested in a woman will exhibit certain behaviors almost universally. That man will want to call, he will want to spend time with you, he will respect you (provided you respect yourself), and he will want to buy you romantic gifts or do special things for you. I am not saying he will do all of these things 100% percent of the time but if he is not doing most of these things then guess what? He is just not that into you. Who wants to be with someone who is not that into them? Not I. Men are hunters by nature. They like to conquer and are often bored quickly with easy prey. When you start chasing men, asking men out, showering them with gifts, proposing marriage or being the one to put all of the effort into the relationship, you are out of order. Period. While this might work for some people this has not been the case in the marriages and relationships that I respect and admire. I am not saying there is anything inherently wrong with any of these things but when the woman is the one making most of the effort in a relationship, it’s never a good look.
Another thing sisters, stop lying to yourself about the relationship that you are in. And believe a man when he tells you about himself. If he tells you he is not ready to be in a committed relationship, please believe that he is not ready to be in a committed relationship. Just because a man has sex with you four nights a week does not mean that he is your man. Be honest about your relationship and act consistently with your relationship. If you are not exclusively dating and that is your desire, don’t act like a girlfriend cuz if you ain’t, you ain’t. For example, if you are not exclusively dating a guy there is no reason why you should be shacking up in his house every other night. For what? I personally don’t feel like there is any good reason to shack up or play house unless you are married or have definite plans to be married in the immediate future. I would ask, what is the hurry? If he is truly the one for you, then you have the rest of your life to pick up his dirty socks/ drawers. If he is not the one for you then living separately makes it a lot easier to move on with your life once you have figured that out. You don’t need to live with someone to determine compatibility. The point that I am trying to make is that as a lady there are ways to conduct yourself when you are getting to know someone that are different than the ways you conduct yourself when you are dating exclusively, that are different than when you are engaged, that are different than when you are married. Each season of a relationship has a special value and place that gets lost when you are too busy trying to exist in a different season. As my dad likes to say, “be in the present moment.”

Lastly, be purposeful in your dating. Know what you want to get out of dating and be honest with yourself. If you want to get married then acknowledge and respect that. If you want to play the field, make sure that you can really handle that. Know yourself.

To sum it all up (for my sake if not for yours) remember these four things:
Love and respect yourself always
Only deal with people who love and respect you.
Stop lying to yourself about your relationship
Be purposeful about who you spent your time and energy with. Rather than wasting your time with losers you could be finding ways to save the world.

If all of us sisters do this maybe we can start a revolution and force the men in this world to man up and step up their game.

quote of the day: buttermilk biscuit

"...His words were like gravy and I was sopping it up with a buttermilk biscuit."
Babs in blog land

Fitness: I need help!!!

I need to get into shape! Fortunately, I have "good genes", I eat very healthy and I don't eat a lot so I don't need to lose weight. However, I do know that as people age their metabolisms start to slow down and thus excercising is a necessary evil that should become a habit if I wish to remain slim and trim. Besides inactivity is an independent risk factor for many of the big bad diseases like heart disease. Thirdly, excercise is a great way to fight off the depression demons that sometimes plague me. I am not a stranger to exercise it is just that for my whole life I have exercised competitively and not just for the sake of exercising. I ran to do well in track meets or rugby. It is hard for me to get used to the idea of excercising without a goal. I could set a goal of getting a six pack in six months, except I am not that excited by the idea of a six pack. My flat abs are A-ok with me without the definition. I thought about doing a triathalon with Mr J next year. That would require swimming lessons. If babs in blogland can take swimming lessons, then maybe I can too. Then again, who wants a swimmer's body with broad manly shoulders and all? Is it possible to be too vain to exercise? Then the idea of having wet hair in the middle of winter in Boston is not too appealing. I haven't ruled swimming out yet. I tried joining the cycling club at school but it didn't work out too well mostly because I don't have a bike...hmm. LOL! Again, the idea of biking in Boston in the middle of winter...not too appealing. I guess generally speaking the idea of Boston in the middle of the winter is just not too appealing--that is why I will be on the beaches in Kerala India this January!

Almost everyday I tell myself that I am going to go running but then I come up with excuses for myself: it's too cold, it's too dark, it's too rainy etc. Today I promised myself that I was going to go running but it is rainy and cold so no go. The gym at my school is both scary and depressing. I refuse to go there. During the week they have a few aerobics classes that I don't mind trying but on days like today there is no place for me to go. I have decided that I wanted to start collecting aerobic workout DVD's so I can have my own personal aerobics classes at home.

I need recommendations!!! Does anyone have any favorite work out DVD's that you can recommend? Help! Or if you have any suggestions for indoor activities that can be done without freezing my butt off, I am happy to hear those too.

What say ye?

Our first date: Lady Tee and Mr J

This is a post I wrote a little while ago before I started this blog:

The tick tick tick of the heart

This weekend I went on a first date. We met online. I was rather excited about this date because on the surface we seemed to have a lot in common. However, life experiences have taught me that things aren't always what they seem. So I proceeded with caution. I kept cool and kept my expectations low. There have just been too many times that the guy seemed great initially and then things did not turn out how I thought they would. So I kept my cool and kept my expectations low. Worst case scenario I would have a nice dinner.
I guess it has fair to say that I am a bit spoiled (just a little bit). I have met a lot of great guys and I am used to being treated like a lady. I have actually gotten to the point where I expect it. My dad demonstrated how a gentleman should act by his example. So I don't get surprised when a guy opens the door for me. This is all to say that Mr J, my date was the immaculate gentleman. He got all those extra points for doing the extra considerate things that most guys would overlook. He interacts with lots of different people for his job so the conversation flowed freely. The laughter lasted all night.
Mr J has what my friend calls "good bio data" ie. He has a good job, good education, right religion, athletic etc. He is tall (6'3) dark and handsome. He is a bit frugal (by his own admission) so I know he has good credit. And he loves his momma. Oh and since our first date he has called and texted me on a regular basis. Sounds good right? Maybe. Yet I am cautious. I didn't used to be like this. I didn't used to think so much. When I was younger I used to dive in head first. Now I gingerly dip one toe in the water and decide if I want to get in or if it is worth the trouble of getting my hair wet. Know what I mean?
On our first date Mr J told me that he really liked me. On our second encounter he told me that if he never saw me again that it was worth meeting me because for the first time in a long time he felt that "tick tick tick" feeling in his heart. He said that it had been so long since he has felt this way that he didn't know if he still had it in him. I admire his openness. He asked me if I felt the "tick tick tick" in my heart. The truth is that I don't know. I don't know if you can still feel the "tick tick tick" after you have built walls around your heart.
What do you think?

SPECIAL DELIVERY from Mr. J!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I get this cryptic phone call from a number I don't recognize. The guy on the phone asked me to confirm my address. Huh? Who the heck are you?! He tells me that he has to deliver a package to me. So immediately I think that it is probably Mr. J but then I think it might be crazy stalker girl trying to figure out my whereabouts. I decided that I can't live my life in fear so I threw caution to the wind and confirmed my address. Within two hours my doorbell rings. At the door is this delivery guy with the most beautiful bouquet of roses, lilies and daisies from Mr. J. (I would take a pic but I left my camera at a friend's house). His timing was impeccable because my other flowers were dying. I was planning on buying more tomorrow.

The card attached said:
"Please keep your heart ticking! I miss you"

(You guys won't get that reference without my pre-blog previous post. I will post it next)

Anyone that knows me knows that I love love love flowers!!!!!! If there was ever a way to brighten up my day it is with flowers! It mighty be raining outside but there is a whole lot of sunshine chez Tee's
This morning I told Mr J that he was my most favorite guy in Jacksonville Florida. He said, "that's really sweet." I told him, "Don't be too impressed because I only know two guys in Jacksonville!" LOL! He said that he was at least going for "most favorite guy on the east coast." I told him, "I don't know, that is a hard one..."
I just sent him a text message (he is working) saying that "Today you are my most favorite guy in the world" because he is. His repsonse said, "U R my fav lady today tomorrow and ."

Doo dee doo dee do. I am on cloud nine!

The housewarming party: Part A

I have a tiny apartment but I wanted to have a housewarming party. The problem is that I cannot physically fit all the people that I wanted to invite into my small space. So to solve this dilemma I decided to have two parties one on Friday and one on Wednesday. This seemed like a good idea to me but in actuality I just ended up confusing everyone. Some people thought that I cancelled the Friday party and rescheduled it for Wednesday. Sigh. Despite the confusion the last night was a hit. I love entertaining and cooking for people but I am not yet the hostess extraordinaire that I aspire to be.

When creating a menu for last night I had to take a few dietary needs into consideration: vegetarian, lactose intolerant, no-red meat, no seafood. That automatically ruled out lasagne, one of my tested and true party pleasers. So what then? I thought about mexican fajitas with optional fillings cheese, meat, chicken, veggie etc. but the last time i had a party I had a mexican theme and that guacamole and salsa can be pretty labor intensive... I ended up deciding on Thai. My menu was as follows:

Appetizers: chicken satay with peanut dipping sauce. Fried tofu with a cilantro/cashew dipping sauce.

Salad: Mixed greens with grape tomatoes, cucumber, carrots served with a homemade Thai salad dressing

Entree: Choice of chicken or tofu red curry served with jasmine rice

Desert: Lychees or Southern comfort cake (recipe courtesy of creole dc) served with haagen daz light but extra rich vanilla ice cream

Drinks: Thai iced tea, wine, prosecco or cocktails

Overall, the evening was a hit! I cooked the chicken satay under the broiler because I don't have a grill and because I was worried about giving my guests salmonella I might have overcooked them so they were a little on the dry side but still tasty. My fabulous friend S gave me a beautiful card with orchids on it ( I love love love orchids!) and an individual tea pot. It is sooo cute and I love tea. I think I will make a cup as soon as I am done writing. I am so thankful to have a home that is pretty AND that I enjoy coming home to. It is great being in a peaceful place. I am also extremely thankful that I have friends who enjoy (or at least do a good job of pretending to enjoy) my cooking who I can share stories, trials, triumphs, laughs and Justin Timberlake's performance on SNL of D__k in a box (we watched that last night)! LOL! Good times! Good times!

Do you know who i am? Do you know who you are?

I find that so many times we put up with junk and allow ourselves to be treated as less than because we forget who we really are. During those times when you are tempted to accept mediocrity from yourself or from others, come back and read this blog and be reminded of who you are in Christ. (Thanks D aka N for sending this to me)

I KNOW WHO I AM

I am God's child (John 1:12)

I am Christ's friend (John 15:15)

I am united with the Lord(1 Cor. 6:17)

I am bought with a price(1 Cor. 6:19-20)

I am a saint (set apart for God). (Eph. 1:1)

I am a personal witness of Christ (Acts 1:8)

I am the salt & light of the earth ( Matt.5:13-14)

I am a member of the body of Christ(1 Cor 12:27 )

I am free forever from condemnation (Rom. 8: 1-2)

I am a citizen of Heaven. I am significant (Phil.3:20)

I am free from any charge against me (Rom. 8:31 -34)

I am a minister of reconciliation for God(2 Cor.5:17-21)

I have access to God through the Holy Spirit (Eph. 2:18)

I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realms (Eph. 2:6)

I cannot be separated from the love of God(Rom.8:35-39)

I am established, anointed, sealed by God ( 2 Cor.1:21-22)

I am assured all things work together for good (Rom. 8: 28 )

I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit (John 15:16 )

I may approach God with freedom and confidence (Eph. 3: 12 )

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil. 4:13 )

I am the branch of the true vine, a channel of His life (John 15: 1-5)

I am God's temple (1 Cor. 3: 16 ).

I am complete in Christ (Col. 2: 10)

I am hidden with Christ in God (Col. 3:3).

I have been justified (Romans 5:1)

I am God's co-worker ( 1 Cor. 3:9; 2 Cor 6:1).

I am God's workmanship(Eph. 2:10 )

I am confident that the good works God has begun in me will be perfected (Phil 1: 5)

I have been redeemed and forgiven (Col. 1:14).

I have been adopted as God's child(Eph 1:5)

I belong to God Do you know who you are!?

Quote of the day: Chickens, pigs and goats

"When you love someone, you love their chickens, pigs and goats"
-My auntie-from South Africa


I have a friend who has one of the most spoiled little girl doggies in the world! This dog has pedicures more regularly than I do! Her husband totally adores her dog. He even took the dog shopping for halloween costumes, had her try on different outfits, took pictures of them until he found one that my friend approved of. Now that is love! He loves her so much that he made the things that were important to her important to him.

Do you have any examples of your significant other loving your chickens, pigs and goats? Do share.

Putting some rain on notice

Ephesians 6:12

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."

Well whoever doesn’t think God has a sense of humor is DEAD WRONG. So in less than 4 hours after I posted the doggone quote of the day (about learning how to dance in the rain), it started “raining” (figuratively). Ain’t that a b! I have found that whenever I claim something, I get tested.
So this particular test involves this CRAZY female who I am now convinced is in love with me or obsessed with me or both. There comes a time in some relationships when it is time to part but some people just can’t seem to let go. Some people are not happy with going on and living their miserable lives without you. This particular individual seems to have taken it upon herself to make her mission in life finding new and creative ways to terrorize me.
By the off chance that YOU happen to ever read my blog: Leave me alone! Go on! Keep on waking! Move on! Live your own life, without me. Try to find peace because obviously you are a tortured soul. I can’t even be mad at you because you obviously have allowed yourself to be a conduit for Satan himself. The bible tells us to bless those that persecute us and so I send blessings to you. I pray for you and I truly hope that one day you too can find happiness. I pity you. You must be a tormented, miserable person to be willing to dedicate so much venom and energy into making another person’s life unhappy. You have tried to break me in so many different ways but guess what baby? God is my shield and my fortress and your efforts didn’t work. Do what you may but you will NEVER be able to steal my joy. Ha ha! Cuz guess what baby? I am learning how to dance through the storm! I know that in my heart of hearts, in matters concerning you ,I have chosen to take the higher road, I have acted in love when you confronted me with hate and God is on my side.